Sex, drugs and sleaze!

Its been a while. Maybe its the bad business ;)

Ok. Im having a new problem. People are actually recognizing me outside!

'Hey, you're the guy who writes that nonsensical blog right? You even mentioned me indirectly didnt you?!! Come here you a*shole and let me beat the crap out of you'

So after having run many miles and having lost them, im back. Now, listen up folks (including all of you who said the above). I have realised my mistake. I was referring to you all indirectly, but made the grave error of referring to myself directly! In plainspeak, that means I was using my own name and thats the reason for this mess.

So, from now on, I am Nikhil no more. I am nonnik.
Who writes nonbiz.

Welcome Ladies and Gents, I am nonnik and will be continuing this blog.

Follows is the excerpt from a conversation I had sometime back.
Scene: The business plan has to be ready. And after 2 weeks of pushing and pushing, Nonnik gets desperate.

Nonnik: Pray, dear comrade, where is our biz plan?

Mr.X: It needs lots more work to be complete.

Nonnik: That was the answer to the question 'how much more work does it need to be complete'. My question was 'where is the biz plan?'

Mr.X: It will take much longer and reason1, reason2, reason3 are the reasons why it is not ready yet. Yawwwwn..keep asking me questions and ill just rest my head on this table..my eyes might be closed but dont worry, im listening intently and ill answer after you ask all questions.

Nonnik: STOP!! what the hell is this? why on earth are you delaying so much and hassling my life. Im threatening you now, give it to me!

Mr.X: You and which army? hahahaha. Oye, what authority do you have to raise your voice and make demands on me?

Nonnik: urp...hmm...ok nevermind...ill just rest my head here too ok?

Boo-boo: Observe how Nonnik has absolutely no control on whats happening.

Basic rule: The boss is called the boss for a reason. Legend and folklore talk about how terrible a boss can be. And how people shudder and cringe when the boss calls them to his 'chamber'. How the boss is unforgiving and is akin to a slave-driver. How he doesnt accept any nonsense and is ONLY intent on getting work done.

SO as you ponder over this wierd situation, HEY! wake up! dont rest your head on your stupid office table! Throw your weight around! You are the boss. And accepting peoples nonsense and letting them royally sleaze out is NOT part of your job profile!!

Trust me. the kind of results and work produced out of having a slave-driver on the top is unimaginable. No one will take you for granted. And NOONE will sleaze out under your nose.

Being nice is fine. But being nice is absolutely not acceptable in your corporate environment. If the people in your firm dont listen to you, you think they care two hoots about the rules? EVERYTHING crumbles in such a situation.

Learn the damn industry!

3:20pm-nice saturday afternoon-Im sitting in my office trying to figure out a way to pay approx 6 ppl ( excluding the guys I WILL NOT pay ).

3:21pm-same damn saturday afternoon-Phone rings.

Nikhil : Hello.
Ms.X : Nikhil, the damn play that you are producing is over. We actors QUIT. And go to hell. We want our compensation now. The director is an a*shole and if he inside, we outside. Come here and let us 10 of us shout at you.
Nikhil : Uh oh.
Ms.X : Come on over now, or else...
Nikhil : Or else what?
Ms.X : Exactly.
Nikhil : Im there in half hour.

Click.

3:23pm-sexy super awesome rockin saturday afternoon-Yay! Creditor number jumped from 6 people demanding money to 16 people DEMANDING money. Want to shout at me too! what nice people! Atleast they wont send 'boys' to get me!

To cut a long story into a godamn nutshell, a nut came up to me 6 months back and suggested that we produce a play that he was directing. His first time apparently.

Boo-boo No.1 - Observe carefully. Nikhil says 'yes' without knowing crap about what the hell it takes to produce a play and handle a production company. Going head on with about a zillion awesome production houses in town.

Pan 6 months later(observe the fake wannabe movie producer sentence!).

Utter mess up with actors, venue, sponsors, and practically everything else. Not to mention 6 months of torture for me putting up with screaming actors(playing their part only mindit!) and every-2-minute-open-my-door-to-get-to-toilet moments.

Quite apparently nothing has come out of it.

The only benefactors are the ones reading this blog! Now lets get on with the lesson, shall we!

Never ever ever ever enter a business that you know NOTHING about.

Do your homework first. I know studying sucks and all that, but then HEY! If you want to be a successful businessman in any field, understand the field and attain some mastery over it.


Tipper: Nothing happens under your nose without you knowing the ins and outs of it.

Recommened by tons of CA's(CPA's in aus and usa), auditors, business consultants and high profile CEOs. Of course, hell with them, but seriously! This is critical.
Else you will end up with many problems like I have faced. The sad thing is im still facing! In spite of all the other nonsense I have to handle at work!

Startup!

FAQs:

Q: Hey, Who the hell are you?

A: Im no MBA, no pro businessman, no multi-billion dollar entrepreneur, no high profile CEO, and no, I dont even profess to be anything close to the above. Im Nikhil, who runs this magazine called Strange Brew and a company called Strange Brew Media.

Q: Then what the hell is this blog about!?

A: Very simply put, in my tenure of 2 years, in which I built up my own company, I learnt SO many things. In this blog im not going to be sharing them. Im in fact going to be sharing something much more useful than my experiences.


Q: So this blog will tell me what to do eh?

A: Its about what NOT to do.

Q: Is it worth my time to read this blog?

A: You are smart and genius enough to start and run and make a big success out of your own company. But if this blog could help you avoid that ONE mistake that will eat you at a later stage, its worth both our time!

Q: Ok, Nikhil, you claim to help us avoid mistakes and make a difference to us. You are quite the loss-making CEO arent you? Why should we listen to you?

A: Well, considering the kind of trouble I am in, Im the BEST person to tell you what not to do. Cuz i think ive made SO many mistakes that im quite a bank that you can use :) So listening to me will educate you on what not to do and maybe even provide for some great entertainment! Haha-he-did-that!-haha-lets-laugh-at-him-nobody-makes-such-stupid-mistakes!

Q: So you are single right? Can I romance you?

A: Sure! Ive had enough of online romances, so lets meet up over a beer!

Q: So why is your hair so long?

A: Because i have..waitaminit...this is irrelevent to this wonderful blog. Take off you sea-scum, come back when i start my next blog.

Ladies and gents , lets get started!